I hate it how I always have all these thoughts in my head but I'm just unable to express them properly in words. So pardon me if I don't make any sense.

I love Christmas. However, two years ago the Christmas season was a hell for me. The christmas season isapproaching again and it brings back memories. And when I did allow myself to indulge in the memory, I didnt feel anything when I should be feeling sad or at least a little regretful. I dont know why there is a need inside of me to feel that familiar sense of pain. 

I miss those times where my blog would go like

" Met Gillian after one month and had some awesome food. Found uber cheap macroons at jones the grocer. only $1.50/macroon! NO GST! It's so gonna be my favourite macroon indugence from now on. Also had the colorful xiao long baos. So awesome to meetup with friends :), not to mention  bumping into SUPERMAN ( my ex-crush) during lunch today. And surprisingly he's still able to make my heart go crazy. Or maybe it was just shock. HAHA  "

I'm not saying that I'm very deep and mature now but I realize my blog posts are always reflections nowadays. I guess it's a phase of life where I realize that every moment and every encounter moulds my perceptions towards things and the people I hang out with makes such an impact on who I am. And in turn, who I am will also affect other people.

So from now on, everytime my parents asks me how was work, I will phrase it in a positive light. Like today. There were two events at work, three guys and one girl (me) who were kinda handling the event. I ran to and fro the kitchen so many times the kitchen staff thought I was the only one working. I collected the food for both parties, I sent the dirty dishes for stewarding, and even did the clearing of the place myself because the IC for the party went missing at 8pm, the time we knock off. So what was I to do but clear everything myself?

Today I failed my personal committment. I was not able to say things positively. I just bitched about my colleagues to my parents because I couldnt take it. They get me to do all these things in the name of 'teaching' me and they sit at the computer and surf ebay and look at the 4D results. But next time, I will be magnanimous enough to tell my parents that accustomed myself with the event procedures and I am now able to run the event on my own now. Stuff like that. It's a matter of the mindset. 

And besides, the more I do, the more they will miss me when I'm gone. So if Im going to do it, Im going to do it happily. AJA EUNICE.