Someone once told me that he thinks that what I'm really afraid of was letting people down. And only after he told me that did I realize how true it was.

All my life I have been subconsciously seeking approval in the things i do from the people around me, my parents, friends, and superiors.

That being said, you could just try and imagine how waking up to a book whose synopsis went along the lines of "you totally blew it", "you lost the love of those you deeply care about" and "your life is in a mess" made me feel. And the worst part about it is that the book was placed there by my father.

and I am really at a loss. Is he hinting at how he thinks my life is? Or is he trying to tell me that a certain thing I did upset him and because of that my life is a mess. Maybe both. But really I may have had times when I felt like my life is a mess, but looking back on the journey through my adolescent period and I can say that I've really grown so much and I really wouldn't say that my life is a mess as compared to say 3 years ago.

But maybe my parents don't think so. And I don't know how to feel about that. Time will heal. I think. But for now, I will become stronger. And if my parents think my life is a mess, then I will show them why my life isn't as they think...